This is Heidi's List of Musical Wealth.

I'm open for trading - provided my Internet connection can hack it.


( The List )

I guess it's been a bit of an odd three or four days.

I don't know. I've been remembering a lot.

Today my mom was clearing out her cellphone's memory and found a picture that I had as my phone background for about a year and a half - it was taken in Lahti, by the lake, about the 4th or 5th time I ever saw him. We were disgustingly smitten. That day, I left Tampere at an obscenely early time in the morning to take a detour in Lahti to see him for a few hours. I had korvapuusti and coffee from the Kiosk on the train. . . then met him at the train station. We dumped my suitcase in a locker and spent the day walking around Lahti (which is a hole. a pretty hole, but ... there is not much to do). We sat down in what we thought was a park but actually had something to do with the Town Hall and we were watching clouds - someone must've called the police on us or something thinking we were getting up to funny business... that was hilarious, I had no idea what was going on, the police guy was just babbling at him in Finnish. I dunno. We sat by the lake for a while, it was really windy... then we climbed around in the forest near the lake and ended up making out on a rock. I don't know. His hair was all gleamy in the sun. I went back to Helsinki that night on top of the moon.

My cellphone bill that month was disgusting.

I guess these aren't really painful memories, but they make me a little sad. I guess I miss him, but not like I did before. It's kind of empty, but not throbbing, like it used to be.

I also remember the phone call I got from Kate, a few days after the break up. I don't know why I didn't call her first, like I usually do. I guess I was just sobbing down the phone and Kate was just swearing her scouse head off, and it was better for me than anything anyone else had tried to do - after 5 minutes I was laughing my head off. Did I ever thank you for that phone call, Katie?

The first time we met, Bharat was waiting with me to ~Check Him Out.~ I still remember laughing at him, because Id met people from the internet before and it was always fine, but Bharat gets protective of us, and he wanted to make sure this wasn't a 40 year old stalker. We sat at Barfüsserplatz and listened to For My Pain... and Bloodpit. I remember he made me play Platitude like 10 times because he liked it so much.

Bharat, Iona and Mariana used to call him Finnish le Pig, because of how I had described him once before we'd met, and because of his weird ... sort of being French, but not really. You know.

This stupid city is full of memories. Everywhere I go, I'm thinking, oh, remember when ... or oh, look, that's where we always got the tram to his house. I'm not so bad as I was at christmas, expecting to see him around every corner... But the thing is, it could happen! How many places are there to hang out in this town? About 5. I don't even know if he's here, but it could happen.

I was in Boots looking at cherry flavored Carmex when he called. I haven't heard his voice since then. I think that's a good thing... but I still wonder where he's at and how he's doing.


I'm sorry to spam you guys with this crap again. Some day soon, I think, I'll be over it.

I may well email him yet. I'm curious. I just want to know mundane stuff...

But then of course theres that part of me that wants nothing to do with him ever again.

However, I just want you to know - because I know some of you will be all worried by this post - that I'm completely aware that we WEREN'T ideal for each other, and I'll be much better with someone that actually talks to other people... but the thing is, we did have fun. While it lasted.


OH well.

So I realized that I am slowly becoming broke.

SO.

GO BUY MY BOOKS!


Aha. Well. You can't blame a girl for trying, can you?

Most of them are pretty good books too . . . but a bit bizarre. Scottish Lit is a very obscure subject to study, I feel.

Books listed include:
Shakespeare - Richard III
Stevenson - Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and Other Tales
Grassic Gibbon - Sunset Song (really good book!)
Gray - Lanark (good, but bizarre!)
Spark - The Driver's Seat
Spark - The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie (seminal scottish literature, and quite enjoyable)
Kelman - Not While The Giro (i assume this is a play; ive never opened the book though.)
Hogg - The Private Memoirs and Confessions of a Justified Sinner (really good, i don't really want to sell this but... oh well.)
The Penguin Book of Scottish Verse
Defoe - Robinson Crusoe (I pity the fool that buys/reads this book. >.<)
Twentieth-Century Scottish Poetry.

DVDs listed include:
The Science of Sleep - Good, but I've only watched it the once.


Really, you know you wanna! Ahahha. I'm totally going to try and sell loads of books from home too. Heh. Oh dear.

AKA: The Great Big Uni Update (2.0).

So. When your boyfriend dumps you a month into term (having not seen you for an entire month) ... obviously there are certain things which need to happen. Since this whole thing has pretty much dominated my Semester, this is my Great Big Uni Update for this term.

1. Cry it all out, all at once. So when I got home from town after having been broken up with by phone, I cried until I was nearly sick for 3 days. I think I have cried twice since then, in almost a month. So. Get it all out. Cry so hard that you can't breathe, can't eat, can't think... and then ... get on with it.

2. Get On With It. The best thing for me is that I have two amazing flatmates who got me out of bed and out of my pajamas and doing things, even the day after the whole thing. It was the best thing; not getting into the habit of moping around.

3. Go to a Mamma Mia Singalong. Seriously. No kidding. Best thing ever.

4. Go to The Big Cheese - and get WASTED. (So this isn't completely relative-safe like these Great Big Uni updates are meant to be, but. . . its the TRUTH.) There is a reason so many people drink when they are upset - it makes it so much easier to forget. This is not something I plan on doing often at all - but Wine is a really nice thing when nothing else can make you stop thinking. What is NOT good is drinking wine and writing stupid emails to said ex. This is one of the only things I really regret from the past month - lowering myself to this kind of level.

5. Fight. By which I mean, fight through it. Fight through the self-criticism and self-doubt and the depression. Fight against thinking about him every 10 minutes. Fight it.


Other than this OBVIOUS drawback, term has been great. I have joined several new societies and the gym, and have lost a noticeable amount of weight. Wooo. My friends have been really good to me, and I've met some great new people. This week, Laura, Andreea and Charlotte came to visit me from home. That was the highlight of my term - I love them so much, and now I am suffering a post-friendfromhomevisit depression. I miss my friends from home so much; we can actually talk about everything and they understand me so much better than people I know here.

I think that's it for the Great Big Uni Update - the flat is lovely, the flatmates are lovely; it's been a good term. Except for the obvious.

But I think... I think I'm starting to move on. Which means - term is looking up again.

Sort of like ivysoul I've been trying to keep track of things that I've read this summer. I haven't read so much for pleasure in at least 3 years, and it's been really refreshing, I think.

In no particular order, these are the books I have read lately, that I can remember, and what I thought of them. (cut for atrocious length of post. again.)

( 1. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon )

( 2. Blood Canticle - Anne Rice )

( 3. Dracula - Bram Stoker )

( 4. The Historian - Elizabeth Kostova )

( 5. Sex and the City - Candace Bushnell )

( 6. Comet in Moominland - Tove Jansson )

( 7. I Capture the Castle - Dodie Smith )

( 8. Life Before Man - Margaret Atwood )

( 9. How to be Good - Nick Hornby )

( 10. Right Ho, Jeeves - P.G. Wodehouse )

( 11. The Other Boleyn Girl - Philippa Gregory )

( 12. Anne of the Island - L.M. Montgomery )


All told, I think it's been quite a successful summer, literary-wise. I'm not used to reading so much, but, as said, I've been loving it. It's a breath of fresh air to read things because I want to, not because I have to. Any book recommendations from you guys are always welcome, because I am awful at choosing books to read and end up reading many of them over and over again.

Anyways. That's my list of the summer. I think I did quite well! Maybe when I get around to it I'll list the movies I've watched. ahha.

Yup. Another one. Probably not so long this time; everything seems to be running together now.

( Great Big University Update - Numero Trois )

hah. well. its not that exciting.

just a tiny little fairytale i wrote for Viljami but i'll put it on here because its the first thing ive written in like. ages. not counting essays.

( Stardust )

aka Great Big University Update Number 2. Except that this one is less update, more pretty pictures! So you can get the feel!

Once again, clicky the link below, to be transported to a land of sweets and joy and joyness.

( A Photographic Guide to Heidi's Edinburgh and Her Tips To Uni Survival (thus far) )

So I've finally got more than 10 minutes to myself where I'm not utterly exhausted or running around needing to get to the next thing. Well. Technically I OUGHT to be running around needing to get to the next thing but I think I'm going to be uber lazy today and not do anything. Except of course, give some updates.

I figured I'd do these general updates publicly so that everyone can read them if they like, it's easier than writing a zillion emails saying the same thing over and over and over and over and over... etc.

So. Here goes. Follow the LJ-Cut (click the link) for Edinburgh Update No. 1

( Edinburgh Update No. 1 )